The fruits of my life

Have you ever asked yourself this question? "Who am I?" or said "I need to find myself?" This isn't just a question we ask ourselves when we are teenagers or young adults. I find myself asking this question a lot lately. I have been struggling to keep my quiet time with God everyday. I was once so faithful with this and lately I have let other things and business get in the way. I started with a new firm this year and have found it more demanding than my last. While, I have been continually blessed in my busyness I have found difficulty in finding balance. The further I came from spending time daily in God's word and simple talking with Him the more I found myself asking, who am I? This is the week we celebrate Easter. I felt a deep desire to be in the word this week and to renew my commitment to God to spend time with Him daily. To worship Him, to learn more about Him, and live as He asks me to. John 13:3 says; Jesus knew that the Father had put all t...

In July I was visiting my dermatologist to take the next step in controlling my psoriasis, when I happened to ask about a mole on my chin that….irritated me. It was one of those unsightly moles that will mysteriously grow a long “whisker” seemingly overnight, that you don’t actually discover until you are in a public place and without tweezers. Unfortunately, she said it was fine and didn’t need removed. Sigh. Then upon further review of my face she pointed to a tiny spot close to my eye and said, “That one isn’t good, it needs to be removed, schedule on your way out for one day next week”. Double Sigh! Then next week came, and I show up for my appointment to remove the suspicious mark on my face. I am not sure what I expected really, but it was super quick, easy and mostly painless. One shot of lidocaine and one slice with a scalpel and the spot was gone. I discovered two important things that day, one, my dermatologist is awesome, quick, and funny and two, I will never be gettin...

This week at church we started a study on the Apostles Creed. Part 1 “I believe in God the Father Almighty, the Maker of heaven and earth an in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord.” What kind of Father is God? This was a tough topic for me to accept and make sense of. And from time to time, doubt will still creep in. But all in all, over the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that the earthly fathers God placed in my life weren’t capable to give me exactly what I thought I needed. Maybe it was God’s beginning of His work in me to let me know I only needed Him. He alone could more than fill that empty void that sadness, that… unexplainable gut wrenching anger I held for both dads that I “had.” Couldn’t God see my pain? My fear? My need to be loved? Didn’t he know the hurt that had been inflicted by on me by one and the abandonment of the other? Why did He want me to be so sad? DIDN’T HE LOVE ME? I spent a lot of time lost as a teen. Making choices that could never be erased....

Cold? Did I ask for cold? Just a week ago, when it was close to 90, I was wishing for fall weather, so I could put on some jeans and a sweater. And now, well it's really chilly. And because it's only September, I cannot turn on the furnace. It's a silly rule really, just like I won't turn on the air in May. Those two months, I think should be windows open months. However, the other night I left all the windows open on the first floor.......it was 55 degrees when we woke up. I had to put on socks; I am so not a sock person. But the last few mornings, I have socked up so that my toes don't fall off. I am loving the BSF study group I joined, we are studying the book of Isaiah. It is sooooo not my learning style as it's a very academic approach. But, here's the thing, I want a better understanding of God's promises for those who seek Him. This book is also a source of comfort and learning for my oldest daughter, and as with all teenagers it's a challenge...

This past weekend has been a little scary and exciting at the same time and almost the same reason. On Friday morning my mother in law (Darris) called and said that she had taken my father in law (Fred) to the hospital with sever abdominal pain. After several hours of not finding answers, they finally got someone to read the CT scan they did and determined that he had a blockage in his lower bowl and needed surgery. They decided that they wanted to be transported to a larger hospital with a surgeon he had been operated on by before. After several more hours they finally had the transfer paperwork done and they were on the way. At Riverside, we had to wait for the ER staff to get up to speed and for the surgeon to see him. Then.....finally.......they took Fred up to prep him for surgery. The surgery was a success and Darris said that right after recovery, Fred said he felt better than he has in over a month. I can't imagine how poorly he must have felt before. But I am thankful that...

The scale needs to be hidden. I am addicted to standing on it. Seriously! Do I think it's going to miraculously say 150 just because I want it to. And when (yes when) it does say 150 will everything just be better? I ask myself this question often. The answer is always no, still I haven't given up hopping on the darn thing every time I go upstairs. So what makes things better? Tomorrow is the last day of the bible study I have been doing. It's called Transformed Inside Out. It has been a journey about developing a balanced healthy lifestyle that honors God in every area of our lives. Every week has taken me a step closer to God in areas that I have fallen away. As always some of the study was easy and a lot of it was rocky, scary, frustrating, and enlightening. I have learned that I have a choice. And most importantly I need to CHOOSE to change. As I look back through my study pages and read my thoughts and answers I am surprised how far I have come. Do you ever have that f...

About 10 weeks ago I began a journey to take better care of my body, AKA the temple of God's Holy Spirit in me. 1 Corinthinans 3:16 Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? It has been a wonderful but difficult journey. But the bible study has come to it's last week. I will weigh in this Thursday and then my weekly weigh-ins are on my own. I know that the only way I can get a healthy weight is with God's help. So, here I go! I decided that since I won't be able to meet weekly with my journey partners, I would keep track of my progress here. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of you mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2