This week at church we started a study on the Apostles Creed. Part 1 “I believe in God the Father Almighty, the Maker of heaven and earth an in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord.” What kind of Father is God? This was a tough topic for me to accept and make sense of. And from time to time, doubt will still creep in. But all in all, over the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that the earthly fathers God placed in my life weren’t capable to give me exactly what I thought I needed. Maybe it was God’s beginning of His work in me to let me know I only needed Him. He alone could more than fill that empty void that sadness, that… unexplainable gut wrenching anger I held for both dads that I “had.” Couldn’t God see my pain? My fear? My need to be loved? Didn’t he know the hurt that had been inflicted by on me by one and the abandonment of the other? Why did He want me to be so sad? DIDN’T HE LOVE ME? I spent a lot of time lost as a teen. Making choices that could never be erased.